Actual Product Warnin g Labels
In our increasingly litigious society, consumer product warning labels have become more and more absurd as manufacturers try to avoid all possiblelawsuits. Additionally, items manufactured in other countries sometimes have labels that get a little lost in the translation. Below are some of our favorites.
"Do not put any person in this washer."
No matter how dirty they are!
"Do not use bottle to store beverages."
BRB - Have to go unpack the kid's lunches.
"Do not use orally after using rectally."
a bottle of
"Contains thiourea, a chemical known to cause cancer in the State of California.
Thank God I don't live in California!
a can of
"Never spray directly on oven."
For when you don't have a cookie sheet?
a magazine rack
"To avoid burning keep out of fire."
"Do not let too many magazines in. "
Back! Get back, you magazines!
For use on animals only.
What about magazines?
a blanket from
"Not to be used as protection from a tornado."
Great for all other natural disasters, though.
Caution -- Risk of Fire.
I was kind of hoping so.
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.
warning on a pair
shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
router made for carpenters:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Make sure you alert your dentist to this one.
a bottle of
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
What prompted this? Did somebody try it?
a string of
made Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
As opposed to . . . ?
packet of nuts:
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.
Were they getting a lot of questions?
a hotel provided
Fits one head.
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.> No matter how tasty it looks!
"May irritate eyes."
on a Conair
Style 1600 hair dryer:
"Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping."
Well, when can I use it, then?
"Not for use as earplugs."
a baby stroller:
"Remove child before folding."
Child should be folded separately.
"Never iron clothes while they are being worn."
"Don't use while sleeping or unconscious."
"Do not drive with sun shield in place."
Was this ever a problem?
"Knives are sharp."
Before I use the stone or after?
a box of rat
Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Shouldn't it cause death in labratory mice?
a toilet bowl
Do not use orally.
What can you even say to that one?
a can of air
Keep out of reach of children and teenagers.
This label should be on everything. Everywhere.
a rubber ball:
Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.
a package of
Not for human consumption.
the manual of a
Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand or genitals.
Are there any body parts that are OK to use?
the barrel of a
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
Proper use may cause injury or death.
the wrapper of a
Remove plastic before eating.
Tastes the same with or without.
a TV remote
Not dishwasher safe.
"Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
May be used for additional weight on your iron maiden, though.
a box of
"DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."
Is this lit or unlit?
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth."
Eating glass may lead to bleeding gums.
a packet of
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."
How about Australia?
a bottle of
"After opening, keep upright."
"This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly."
The leotard, however, does stop bullets.